Shame on me!

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His love never fails, but mine always does.

Why is it that no matter how much desire I have, I still can't. I know I am not perfect, and I can never be ... not even close. But my heart is honest. I know I am in sin. I know I am not worthy of everything. And I also know that nothing can snatch me out of His hands...

I want His will not mine, but why am I still here? I love Him more than anything else, but why can't I...? I am very disappointed of my own actions. But why does He still love me? Shame on me!

I am trying to fix things my way. What a little faith I have... God is loving. He will surely have mercy on me. He will surely understand. And God is just. I know He is. I know there will be...a consequence. 

This is one of the saddest part of my life. I am a sinner. I'm sorry Lord.

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