Submitting to God's Plans

Remember this blog? I can't help but write about what's next...

I met a guy at work when I was in college. I was a working student. I loved him, and it was my heart's choice. Again, I let my heart rule. I was so into him, that I was even willing to leave my family for us. He smokes, he drinks, he didn't want to attend school, and worst thing is he cheated on me. From what I knew, it was only 3 times but it's no longer important.

He broke up with me on our 3rd year anniversary. He chose to be with his girl, she was his officemate. My world crashed. For the very first time in my life, I went to a bar and cried over him. I couldn't remember what happened because I got myself so drunk that night. I was with my bestfriend. All I could remember was my brother picked me up, he brought me home and I was crying so hard that night. The next day, nanay brought me to the mall and bought me an mp3 player --- I wanted to have an mp3 player that time. I then realized that I am blessed to have such a caring family and I realized that this is the same family that I planned to leave for this guy who betrayed me. I was so guilty.

But then I met a guy at work. We were very close. I knew there was something between us but I didn't want to entertain the feeling because I was still trying to mend my broken heart.That 3-year relationship was my longest. I didn't want it to end. But I didn't have a choice.

I started to give this guy I met at work a chance. I want to know him more and I want to know what future we have.

At first, I didn't know he has a child. When I found out, I was shocked. But I accepted his situation. He was really nice, he was actually too good to be true. I wanted to call it love, but I was very careful to not fall for him that much. I was afraid.

To love him was my choice. It was a decision I made 7 years ago. So many times in the past, I wanted to give up on us. But he was just so good at courting me over and over. He was always willing to start from scratch. And so I chose to love this man everyday. I kept praying that God would give him to me. I want to grow old with this man.I want to have kids of my own with him. And I love his daughter, too. 

We have been living together for almost 7 years now. But then, we have to separate... As to why, because we're not married yet. And we are living in sin. And this set up, this is not pleasing to God. We are willing to correct everything. I know God is up for something. I am excited for what He has for us.

One day I'm sure everything will be okay. In God's timing, and in God's way --- not mine, not ours. God is going to fix everything --- maybe not what I thought it would be, but I simply trust God's plan.

Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." We have made a lot of plans but we didn't consider Jesus. Not anymore ... This time, we want to submit to God's will for us.

And I want to end with this verse, Jeremiah 22:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

And why can't we be married? It's a long story... Maybe I'll try to squeeze the details on my next blog. Stay tuned!