I was listening to Regine Velasquez's songs, while reading Purpose Driven Life when I heard the music says, "I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go." She revived the Leader of the Band.
I repeated the song over and over. It made me cry. I remembered my mom. I was thinking how painful was it for her to let me go. How painful would it be for a mom to let her baby girl go. I am not a good daughter.
"His gentle means of sculpting souls took me years to understand." Why did it take 27 years before I finally understood how blessed I am for having her as my mom. She, who only wants the best for me. Why did I disobey her? Now here I am, taking all the consequences of my disobedience. And I deserve this. I've caused my mom so much pain and heartaches. I know I deserve this.
"My brothers' lives were different for they heard another call ... Living out this life I've chose..." I have 3 siblings, all of us are living the lives we chose. My two brothers live with their wives. My sister lives with my mom. How I wanted her to be someone like NOT me --- I want her to be obedient, God-fearing, full of love. Unlike me, I have a stone heart. When I said so, no one could stop me.
"I thank you for the freedom When it came my time to go I thank you for the kindness And the times when you got tough." I hope that it's not too late for me to repay her for everything she has done for me. For being strong when I need someone to discipline me. She didn't give up on me. She's the kind of mom I really need.
Sometimes, though I know that God has a plan for me and has a purpose for everything that's happening, sometimes I can't help but think, what if I've met God fifteen years ago? Should things be a lot better? Can I go back to the time that I've caused her too much pain.
Now that my Nanay is 49 years old, and my Tatay is already 65, I know that God wants me to spend more time with them. I know that God wants me to show how much love I have for them. Only if I could turn back time, but I trust that God has a bigger plan for me and for my parents. I just pray that they have forgiven me in their hearts already. I am a sinner, I disobeyed them, I don't deserve forgiveness but my parents' love for me is so big.
I also pray for my sister that she won't do same thing as I did. I know she will be the better ME, as she came to know Jesus earlier than I did. Thank you for my sister and my parents, God. And I'm sorry for all the things I've done in the past.
I repeated the song over and over. It made me cry. I remembered my mom. I was thinking how painful was it for her to let me go. How painful would it be for a mom to let her baby girl go. I am not a good daughter.
"His gentle means of sculpting souls took me years to understand." Why did it take 27 years before I finally understood how blessed I am for having her as my mom. She, who only wants the best for me. Why did I disobey her? Now here I am, taking all the consequences of my disobedience. And I deserve this. I've caused my mom so much pain and heartaches. I know I deserve this.
"My brothers' lives were different for they heard another call ... Living out this life I've chose..." I have 3 siblings, all of us are living the lives we chose. My two brothers live with their wives. My sister lives with my mom. How I wanted her to be someone like NOT me --- I want her to be obedient, God-fearing, full of love. Unlike me, I have a stone heart. When I said so, no one could stop me.
"I thank you for the freedom When it came my time to go I thank you for the kindness And the times when you got tough." I hope that it's not too late for me to repay her for everything she has done for me. For being strong when I need someone to discipline me. She didn't give up on me. She's the kind of mom I really need.
Sometimes, though I know that God has a plan for me and has a purpose for everything that's happening, sometimes I can't help but think, what if I've met God fifteen years ago? Should things be a lot better? Can I go back to the time that I've caused her too much pain.
Now that my Nanay is 49 years old, and my Tatay is already 65, I know that God wants me to spend more time with them. I know that God wants me to show how much love I have for them. Only if I could turn back time, but I trust that God has a bigger plan for me and for my parents. I just pray that they have forgiven me in their hearts already. I am a sinner, I disobeyed them, I don't deserve forgiveness but my parents' love for me is so big.
I also pray for my sister that she won't do same thing as I did. I know she will be the better ME, as she came to know Jesus earlier than I did. Thank you for my sister and my parents, God. And I'm sorry for all the things I've done in the past.
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